Take THAT, Orthopoxvirus variola vera!

As a general rule, we humans think we're pretty special. Our collective species-ego is probably the biggest in the universe (except for maybe these guys, because look how badass! If only they breathed fire and flew around hunting women and children - then we could slay them!). Anyway, it is true that we have accomplished some pretty impressive stuff. If we hadn't, then I would have nothing to write about (the real travesty). One of these impressive things is the eradication of smallpox, which actually happened in the haze that was the 1970s (even more impressive). Just to give you an idea of how incredible this was: smallpox is thought to have killed somewhere around 300-500 million people in the twentieth century alone. This is roughly equal to the total number of people currently on Facebook. The World Health Organization reported two million deaths (out of 15 million cases) as recently as 1967. After some serious vaccinating, the eradication of the disease was certified in December of 1979. To this day, smallpox is the only human infectious disease to be successfully eradicated. Holy Awesome Batman!

Here's a quick and dirty background on the smallpox virus. It is believed to have emerged in the human population around 10,000 B.C., but who knows, really - we weren't keeping great records what with the Ice Age and everything.  It became known as "smallpox" in 15th century Europe to distinguish it from the "great pox" - syphilis. Silly, slutty Europeans. Transmission occurs through inhalation of the airborne virus, usually after close contact with an infected individual. The virus invades the respiratory mucosa or mouth and throat, spreads to lymph nodes, and eventually ends up in the bloodstream, spleen, bone marrow, bla bla bla, you get pox. Along with the characteristic skin lesions, smallpox causes fever, muscle pain, fatigue, headache, and digestive issues. Depending on the virus type (there are a few), fatality rate ranges from less than 10% to nearly 100%. So it's really kind of a toss-up.

Way back in 1796, we understood about vaccinations (we really are quite impressive). Edward Jenner discovered that inoculation with material from a cowpox lesion resulted in immunity to smallpox. Besides being ridiculously disgusting, this is where we get the word "vaccine." Vacca is Latin for cow. Today, the smallpox vaccine is less gross, but it does cause a pus-filled blister, and leaves a small scar.

Edward Jenner, cowpox pus extraordinaire

The eradication of smallpox required lots of intense monitoring, surveillance, and containment. Whenever an outbreak occurred, infected individuals were isolated, and everyone living close by was vaccinated. This prevented the disease from spreading, and the effort was helped immensely by the fact that smallpox has no animal host, and no carriers. By 1980, smallpox existed only in two laboratories: the CDC in Atlanta and the VECTOR Institute in Russia (it actually has a conservation status of "Extinct in the Wild"). Now we only have to worry about smallpox as biological warfare...

Now, I may be a bleedin' heart liberal, but who the hell are we to decide which viruses can continue plaguing us mercilessly and which cannot? I mean, it's cool and everything that smallpox isn't out killing millions of people a year, but if we learned anything from Jurassic Park, it's that "life...finds a way..." 

Thanks, chaos theorist Jeff Goldblum

This one might come back and bite us. Maybe not as an angry T-Rex, but still. Regardless, the score is currently People, 1, Orthopoxvirus variola vera, 1,000,000,000. It remains to be seen who will come out on top.